Guess what I just figured out?!?!

I need to feel my feelings!!!

Yes, this may be a ‘duh’ statement for some of you, but apparently it is not for me.

I think that I try to justify everything. I try to come up with reasons for why I feel the way I do and attempt to explain it away.

I realize now that I need to actually sit with the feeling, pay attention to all aspects of it and really FEEL it. I think this is why I have stayed in situations much longer than I should. I bet if I had just FELT the anger, the hurt, the resentment or the sadness I might have just not liked it and walked away. But, instead I try to give everyone/everything the benefit of the doubt and explain away the actions that led me to the feelings.

All this ends up doing is keeping me in a situation where I am still feeling those feelings, but I’ve put a band-aid on them. This does not work and it never will.

Who knows the purpose of a band-aid…to cover something up and keep it safe from the outside world! But, what are you supposed to do after a short while? Take the band-aid off, let the wound get air, and only THEN will it heal.

I bet if I looked within myself I would have a million band-aids on feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind feeling feelings, I just always think that if I can logically figure out why I am feeling something that it will go away.  Sometimes this is true.

Like, I am angry because someone hurt me so if I get rid of him, I won’t be angry anymore. Yes, this is good, it works.

But, I have a tendency to say things like ‘Well, look at how he grew up, of course he is going to treat me this way, he doesn’t know any different. I am angry because he treats me badly, but I can help him see this and help him work towards seeing the ‘right’ way to treat someone.’

Guess what, no one can help someone else that doesn’t want to be helped or doesn’t have the want to change AND, I’m still angry!!! So, justifying the anger did not do anything for me but keep me angry under the surface.

This world is a funny place and I always say that The Universe knows what it is doing (as long as it can hear what you want), but sometimes just feel the feelings.

Don’t placate yourself with little sayings like ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Yes, I believe this to be true, but give your feelings a chance to speak out. They deserve their time too and if you don’t those sneaky little bastards will not just go away on their own. It just doesn’t work that way!!

Sometimes they just want to be heard, know that you understand why they are there and be thanked for showing up for you to see there is something not right with the situation you are in. They in themselves might just help you heal rather than the band-aid that is justification.

Ok, off to buy more band-aids…just kidding, I think this time I might head to the tissue aisle instead.

Clear your negative feelings by acknowledging them and feeling them in your body as physical sensations. Yes, just experience your emotions as sensations.

Judy K. Katz

(Yes, this is THE Judy and if she says I can do this and just FEEL emotions, then I can because everything Judy says is true 😉 )