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Get out here little feelings!
Guess what I just figured out?!?!
I need to feel my feelings!!!
Yes, this may be a ‘duh’ statement for some of you, but apparently it is not for me.
I think that I try to justify everything. I try to come up with reasons for why I feel the way I do and attempt to explain it away.
I realize now that I need to actually sit with the feeling, pay attention to all aspects of it and really FEEL it. I think this is why I have stayed in situations much longer than I should. I bet if I had just FELT the anger, the hurt, the resentment or the sadness I might have just not liked it and walked away. But, instead I try to give everyone/everything the benefit of the doubt and explain away the actions that led me to the feelings.
All this ends up doing is keeping me in a situation where I am still feeling those feelings, but I’ve put a band-aid on them. This does not work and it never will.
Who knows the purpose of a band-aid…to cover something up and keep it safe from the outside world! But, what are you supposed to do after a short while? Take the band-aid off, let the wound get air, and only THEN will it heal.
I bet if I looked within myself I would have a million band-aids on feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind feeling feelings, I just always think that if I can logically figure out why I am feeling something that it will go away. Sometimes this is true.
Like, I am angry because someone hurt me so if I get rid of him, I won’t be angry anymore. Yes, this is good, it works.
But, I have a tendency to say things like ‘Well, look at how he grew up, of course he is going to treat me this way, he doesn’t know any different. I am angry because he treats me badly, but I can help him see this and help him work towards seeing the ‘right’ way to treat someone.’
Guess what, no one can help someone else that doesn’t want to be helped or doesn’t have the want to change AND, I’m still angry!!! So, justifying the anger did not do anything for me but keep me angry under the surface.
This world is a funny place and I always say that The Universe knows what it is doing (as long as it can hear what you want), but sometimes just feel the feelings.
Don’t placate yourself with little sayings like ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Yes, I believe this to be true, but give your feelings a chance to speak out. They deserve their time too and if you don’t those sneaky little bastards will not just go away on their own. It just doesn’t work that way!!
Sometimes they just want to be heard, know that you understand why they are there and be thanked for showing up for you to see there is something not right with the situation you are in. They in themselves might just help you heal rather than the band-aid that is justification.
Ok, off to buy more band-aids…just kidding, I think this time I might head to the tissue aisle instead.
Clear your negative feelings by acknowledging them and feeling them in your body as physical sensations. Yes, just experience your emotions as sensations.
Judy K. Katz
(Yes, this is THE Judy and if she says I can do this and just FEEL emotions, then I can because everything Judy says is true 😉 )
From the depths of despair, I bring you…
For anyone who has had the poor misfortune of being around me these past few months, you are well aware of the pure hell I have been living in within myself. Ok, so I’m a tad bit dramatic. But, whatever the name I use to explain, it has not been fun and what I put myself through I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy. Believe me, I even tried to wish it on them, but alas, I just didn’t have the heart to.
And the absolute worst part is that there is no one to blame but myself. Don’t think I that didn’t try to put myself in a time out for that one! (Yes, I know, that was a double negative…it just sounds better that way.) No one asked me to feel this way. No one told me to continue to feel this way. I had every right and opportunity to remove myself, but I didn’t. I made the choice to stay in a place that brought me deep within this chaotic hell (there I go being dramatic again).
GUESS WHAT!!! I’m so glad I did. Well, for one thing, I know that I refuse to give up on something until I know I’ve done everything I possibly can. Unfortunately, mostly at the expense of myself, but at least I’m passionate about the things I fight for. However misguided they may be. But the real reason is that this chaos was and is a beautiful thing. Because what’s the only thing you can do to quiet chaos? Ok, well I guess you can try to ignore it. Take my word for it, it doesn’t work. And, actually, you can give away the control and put it in the hands of The Universe (God, Buddha, or whomever you pray to). This is a wonderful idea if you are actually capable of giving up complete control. Of which, I am not. Orrrrr, you can CHANGE!!! Bingo, ding ding ding, we’ve got a winner. (I SO thought about taking that line out. I’m probably going to smack my head and wish I had. )
So, change is what I’ve decided to do and what I ultimately end up doing every time this happens. It does usually takes me a few attempts at the other options until I am left with no other choice. I was just so resistant to making a change because I kept thinking that I’ve done so much internal work in the past couple of years and I’ve changed so much for the better internally. Why do I have to do more work? Why is that not enough? Then, I realized that I go to the gym every day even though I love my body where it is. Turns out you have to keep working just to maintain and work even more to make additional gains. <insert sigh of resignation>
So out of this chaos I am finally going to meet who I am going to spend the rest of my life with…ME!!! See, it turns out that what we desire most in our life we can actually have…um, I’m ok with that. But, you have to think a way you have never thought before. Hello!?!? Old dog here, not real thrilled with new tricks 
But, my sources tell me that I am still teachable.
Apparently we have a conscious mind, the one that knows and says what our desires are and a subconscious mind, the one that actually attracts the desires. And, if you are currently not attracting what you want, well then your subconscious mind is not on board. Ugh, stupid subconscious!! Just kidding…sort of.
I’ve always been completely cool with, and even try to push upon my friends, the advantages of seeing a therapist. No, I am not crazy! Well, there was that one time that I… Oh, and I’m pretty sure that I once…ANYWAY, moving on 🙂 I’ve been going to my therapist off and on for the past couple of years, and while I absolutely love her (yay, Belinda), I felt as though we had reached a plateau. I am eternally grateful to her for introducing me to my internal ‘parts’, but now I want answers.
Enter Judy! She works with The Law Of Attraction. She teaches you how to create new pathways in your mind to align your conscious and subconscious mind. I know it sounds hokey, but it makes sense to me and well, that’s all that matters 😛 I figure: what’s some time out of my life if I can possibly get what I desire? And, she vehemently claims that I can.
Oh, and what you desire can be ANYTHING you want it to be. I know I tend to talk more about relationships here, but she’s actually marketed herself on being someone to help you with attracting your financial and career desires.
I’ll tell you what though, it’s freaking scary!!! I’m going to go through this process and come out thinking differently than I ever have in my 32 years. I’m going to unlock whatever is lurking in my subconscious that keeps bringing me almost the exact opposite of what I desire. Oh, ick, do I really want to unlock that?!?! Oh, did I forget to mention that whatever is in there doesn’t have to be fixed, apparently that crap is all lies in there. Huh, now you tell me! Seriously though, Judy says I get to just turn my back on it and honestly move on. I know, I don’t believe it either. I mean, how can you have stuff hidden away and not have to actually deal with it when you finally have the dreaded run-in? But, heck, why not try something new. Who was it that said ‘If you do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always gotten’? I know I heard DiNozzo say it on NCIS, but whilst very cute, I doubt he came up with it 😉
So, lucky for you, I love to impart my newfound knowledge on any person (or thing) that will sit still long enough to listen or has the misfortune to catch me a little buzzed. Boy do I like to talk about this stuff with a buzz 🙂 I am going to hopefully keep this updated with my journey…no nothing personal, just tips. But, sometimes it’s daunting to put it all in a literary fashion. So, feel free to ask anything you want. If you have the guts to ask, I will have the guts to answer (especially with the aforementioned buzz) 😛
So, here’s to changing and getting what I want. How excitingly scary…
It’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it…
Don’t let your past ruin your future. Learn from the past and let it guide you not hinder you. You’re going to get hurt, but you are also going to learn how to love. Pay attention to the learning and don’t hold on to the hurting. Our past shapes us because it teaches us what we don’t want, but more importantly it teaches us what we DO want. Let go of the pain and focus on the pleasure. Make boundaries for yourself, but make sure they are true, not just walls you construct around yourself. Look back and thank your past, let it know you acknowledge what it taught you and appreciate that you grew because of it. You will never know what’s in front of you if you are always looking behind. Listen to the ‘red flag’ that pops up and realize that it’s just your new thought process, just a way of showing you that you’ve been there and not going back, but pay more attention to the white flag that shows you what you could and should have. Too many people focus on the bad. The bad is over, you’ve learned what it is and now you know how to not allow it in your life. You are stronger than what has happened in your past, you made it through it alive and as a reward, you get to live in the present and make yourself a beautiful future. Don’t take that from yourself, be proud and give yourself everything you deserve. You are worth it. You are worth the absolute best, don’t settle for anything less. Thank the past, it’s giving you the best view of what you want for your future. Don’t stand in its way…let it give it to you!
That’s how I roll!
“She started to enter every room with a buoyant certainty of welcome, she accepted any change as if it had been planned for her enjoyment, there seemed to be no disappointment in her world, no potential for diminished expectations.” ~Judith Krantz~
What if you just took each moment, each situation, each decision as it came? Without looking too far forward. Without being crushed by uncertainty. Without the pain of thinking things will never work out. What if you just rolled with it? Knowing that The Universe is just fine taking care of you without your help. That’s what I’m doing. Want to know something? It’s working out pretty damn well!
All the world’s a stage…
My life is a play, of which I am the director, the main character, and the audience.
Everyone involved and everything I have ever done has brought me to the current scene.
- I have my core actors that have been with me since the curtain went up. Sometimes they are out there on the stage acting out the scenes, and sometimes they are waiting in the wings.
- I’ve allowed actors in without auditions.
- I have villains that have shown themselves from the very beginning.
- I have jokers that jump around and create mischief. Sometimes funny, sometimes annoying.
- I have characters that bring with themselves the dum.dum.dummmm type of music. Where everyone knows that issues are going to begin to arise.
- I’ve employed the best of the makeup artists to allow me to be whomever that scene requires.
- Different props have taken the place of actors in different places.
- I’ve had to change the blocking of the cast to create a better vision to the “audience”.
- I have missed some cues and created other ones that better fit my storyline.
- My sets have changed throughout the show.
- As my character evolves my dialogue has changed.
- Each act can, and sometimes does, become a dress rehearsal for the next.
- Critics have both praised and disapproved of my methods of acting.
- I have been yelled at by actors offstage during scenes and backstage after them.
- Techs have been called in at times to fix various things and I allow them to teach me so as to be able to fix whatever it is the next time.
- I’ve allowed cast members to upstage me, even in my own play.
- I’ve asked the more respected cast members to prompt me when I am not sure which way the storyline should go next.
At curtain call, every act, every soliloquy, every interval, every tragedy, and every farce will combine to be the best show of my life…”The Show of My Life”.
Go out there and create YOUR Show.
Audition cast members, practice your lines, set your stage, figure out your initial storyline!
BREAK A LEG!
I love The Universe and The Universe loves me!
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If you could take a daily pill that would profoundly speed-up the manifestation of all your dreams, would you take it without fail? I thought so. What if it was a big, ugly pill that took 5 minutes to dissolve on your tongue, and it tasted like medicine. Would you still do it? Yes, all of your dreams… Thought so. But what if during those 5 minutes each day you couldn’t watch TV, or talk with friends, or distract yourself in any way from your chore? Wow, you must really want a fabulous love for myself, and all those other awesome life changes! OK, what if you could skip the pill bit entirely, but instead you had to set aside 5 minutes a day to visualize, in a dark and quiet room, seeing your life unfold as if all your dreams were coming true, and for good measure you had to say or do something, each day, that implied the same? No, you can’t go back to the pill idea. Yours, |
Awww, The Universe just sent me the sweetest birthday message.
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu,
Happy Birrrrthday Dear Noelle,
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu!
A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Noelle Lo Faso doesn’t come along all that often. In fact, there’s never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You’re an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is.
Quite simply:
You’re the kind of person, Noelle,
Who’s hard to forget,
A one-in-a-million
To the people you’ve met.
Your friends are as varied
As the places you go,
And they all want to tell you
In case you don’t know:
That you make a big difference
In the lives that you touch,
By taking so little
And giving so much!
Noelle, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn’t know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won’t be alone!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Noelle!
The Universe
PS – Noelle, this is going to be YOUR year!!
The Universe has such great advice.
It’s not as if one could be bored enough, feel frustrated enough, or complain enough that their life would suddenly turn around. Doesn’t work that way.
Whatever anyone “is” they become more of. And anyone’s is’ness is whatever they say it is.
Happily,
The Universe
Good Morning
The presumption at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been instilled with such dreams in the first place.
Love you,
The Universe
It’s a marathon not a sprint.
One thing I know about myself is that I tend to give people too many chances.
I am a fair person and I like to see the best in everyone. I know this is a good trait for the most part, but it does make it hard to see that someone is just not worth the many chances I give him or her.
I am a trusting person. I let someone start out at 100% and allow him or her to prove to me that he or she isn’t worth the 100%. But, like I mentioned before, I don’t always believe that the person isn’t really worth it.
I will do everything I can to explain away the person’s actions. I will give him or her the benefit of the doubt and continue to give chances so he or she doesn’t slip below what I thought he or she was worth.
This is my fault and I need to start watching and listening more. When I pay attention I can see that The Universe is really trying to throw it in my face when I need to just let the person go. I need to stop giving people chances when it is so painfully obvious that he or she no longer deserves them.
I cannot even tell you some of the crazy things I come up with to explain another person’s actions. And I am referring to friends more than I am to boyfriends. I am getting so much better in realizing when a guy I am trying to date is just not right for me. But, friendships are much harder for me to do this with.
I can think of so many examples of when I kept someone in my life much longer than was healthy for me. It is just so hard for me to cut someone out of my life when I care for him or her. I want so badly for the person to see what I see in him or her and to take the opportunity I am giving to better the situation. But, I know now that it’s really The Universe watching out for me and forcing me to understand that the person should not be in my life. Again, this does not mean that the person is bad in general, just bad for my life and for what I am striving to do and for who I am striving to be.
It’s so hard to let people go who have been in my life for any period of time. But, I also have to realize that I am not meant to be in their life either. Their Universe is watching out for them too and I am not a cooperative component in their life either.
So, I need to work on this better, I need to pay attention better and trust in what the person is trying to show me and what The Universe wants for me.
It’s a slow and painful process, but by just realizing it, I have a feeling I will become better at it.
Maybe this is something you should try too…
Thoughts With Wings 