Too many people get caught up in the word SINGLE!  This one tiny word can wholly consume people.  It’s all they talk about, all they think about, all they focus on.  I cannot tell you how many Facebook posts I see about people sitting at home lonely because they don’t have a significant other to share their nights with.  Yeah, I get it, once you know what it feels like to do a couch cuddle session on a Sunday night, all other Sunday nights SEEM lacking when you are by yourself.  It doesn’t have to be this way. 

But, I will tell you what WON’T bring you a mate…constantly complaining about it and acting as though you will curl up and die if you have to sit alone at your house at night.  If you heard of someone like this would you line up to date him or her?  I highly doubt it. 

But, if you heard of the person that is always busy with sports or other personal activities and has very little free time, and it would take a very special person for him or her to share that free time, I bet you would try to be that “special person”.  It would make you feel good knowing that you got that time and that the other person wants you to have it.

Also, “they” say that you will find a relationship when you least expect it.  So, you have to stop looking for/expecting it. 

And, sometimes we get caught up in thinking we are lonely when are just alone.  Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely.  Being alone is great and can be very fulfilling.  Being lonely is what can sometimes talk us into contacting that ex that we shouldn’t be with or dating that person that really isn’t right for us.

Let’s find something else to do to occupy our time! 

Animals are great at keeping a person busy, but then again a single life does not always work with a puppy.  Before you puke and throw out the “single life/crazy cat person” line understand that cats are just easier to care for and they won’t notice if you don’t come home at night 😛  But, it is always nice to come home to something warm and fuzzy 🙂

If an animal isn’t your thing try what I have dubbed “Series Stuff”.  This can be anything from an old TV series to a book series to an author series.  When I first moved back to Charlotte I had no friends.  I would go to work, go to the gym and then come home and focus on what I didn’t have.  I started watching the Felicity TV show on DVD because I was going crazy from boredom.  Sometimes I would watch up to 5 episodes a night and then go to bed.  I didn’t even notice the time passing by and then all of a sudden I realized that I didn’t have time to watch Felicity because I was going out and playing Flag Football with my new friends and new boyfriend.  I did this same thing with the shows Grey’s Anatomy, Dexter, Private Practice, and LA Ink.  It’s so easy now with the Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and iTunes options. 

Sometimes I would go the book route.  I read the entire Twilight series.  Then, I read every single book that Sidney Sheldon had ever written back-to-back.  (Reading is also a good thing to do on the bike at the gym. My 45 minutes of cardio flies by when I read.  Just an easy way to incorporate excercise into your life if you don’t already have it and don’t really want to do it.)

Once I even tried cross-stitching…laugh if you want to, but I used to love building model cars and cross-stitching when I was little. (I told you that I am quite the contradiction.)

Create a blog.  It doesn’t have to be one that you even tell people about.  I have one that no one knows about and well, I certainly hope no one ever finds it 😉  It can be like an online journal.  You can spend your time searching for quotes, songs and pictures that represent how you are feeling at the time, but not necessarily yelling it to the world.  Sometimes just writing out how you are feeling can make you feel a million times better.

I choose from any of the above options anytime I am finding myself “focusing” too much.  I don’t care what you do, just please find something to do other than complain and making yourself miserable.  It will keep your mind off of things, make you a more complete person and eventually you will find yourself where you want to be without even realizing it.

And, just a heads up, alcohol is a depressant.  It is not going to help to “dull” the pain of being lonely by sitting and drinking a 6 pack or a bottle of wine.  It is only going to make you feel worse and more alone.  AND, that little guy named Drunk Texting does not know the difference between a random Tuesday night home alone and a Saturday night out at the bars 😦  So, try to stick to sober activities. 

Also, one small piece of advice: Pick ONE person that you complain to about being single.  Don’t run around depressing yourself and everyone around you about how sad you are to be single.  It’s only going to keep you focused on it and annoy your friends.  I promise you, if you come to me and complain about it, I am NOT going to introduce you to my single friends.  I don’t want any of them with someone who can’t be happy with just themself. (Unless I am the one person you complain to.)

A boyfriend or a girlfriend is not meant to ‘save’ you, he or is she is meant to complement you.  If you think you can only be whole with a significant other, you definitely need to be single and find out how to be whole by yourself.